


the great wall

by zeloflake



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-14 00:31:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12995895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeloflake/pseuds/zeloflake
Summary: minseok found home in the arms of a foreign boy.





	the great wall

**Author's Note:**

> a small xiuhan inspired by luhan's movie 'the great wall'. it's loosely inspired, so some things are different from the movie, and you can definitely read if you haven't seen it! i hope you enjoy it, and leave a comment if you do! (´ ε ` )♡ if you want to talk, i'm @zeloflake on twitter as well!

the sun was blinding in minseok's eyes. it had been weeks since he had moved into the new chambers, and still the sunlight woke him up every day. he did not think that was likely to change, but it had ceased to bother him. it was not as hard to get used to this country as he had expected. despite a stubborn homesickness that arose now and then, it was just fine.

routine had a lot to do with it. when you are a soldier, not much matters besides staying alive. you have no time to worry about anything else. you eat, you fight, you shower, you sleep. live one day after the other, and be thankful you are still breathing. many do not have the same luxury.

looking around the cramped room, filled with young male bodies, he shook the insistent sleepiness away. it would not do to doze off during training. minseok prouded himself in having shed no blood yet, and he intended to keep it this way.

cuts were deadly to a soldier. they did not use the cleanest of swords, as not much else was available and cleaning was too much trouble, when they would just be dirtied again. training soldiers was a messy, unfortunate task, and no one wanted to be responsible for a room full of young people learning how to kill. he just had to be fast and stay untouched. infections were not a thing to be messed with.

minseok rose from his bed and headed towards the shared bathroom, for privacy was something you abdicated of when you joined the military. he had always liked to rise early, and it was somehow convenient now. a less crowded room, a more peaceful morning. he enjoyed being able to sort out his thoughts alone - it was a short escape from the mechanic everyday routine. in this unforgiving system, he was only one more pair of arms willing to swing a sword, and peace of mind was something hard to find. one had to pay attention not to go insane.

minseok got dressed in his uniform – a simple mushy green, old and dirty but well maintained-, laced his boots tightly and headed for the training field.

 

he had met soldier luhan many weeks before, when his platoon arrived at the wall.

"these are the reinforcements sent on behalf of the korean-chinese alliance." his captain was a strong, good man. he shook hands firmly with the chinese lieutenant, both eyeing each other warily. "i hope we can work well together, and extinguish this threat once and for all."

"may it be as you say." the chinese officer seemed content with the brief introduction and assigned a common soldier to lead them to their chambers. minseok could only see the back of the boy's helmet at a distance - grey, unlike the deep green ones of the korean army. the boy was in the far front, and it did not help that his fellow soldiers were almost all of a higher stature than minseok.

as they entered one by one through the narrow doorframe, he could take a better look at the soldier who guided them. the shadow of what could become a stubble greeted him, along with a pair of fierce, shiny eyes. he was taller than minseok, but rather skinny. it seemed unlikely that he could do any real damage - at least not to the dragon-like monsters that were attacking the great wall in waves, killing the chinese soldiers by the hundreds and making the sending of additional troops necessary. if not for them, minseok would not even be there at all. he was unsure if  feeling thankful for that would send him straight to hell.

the scrawny boy noticed his attention and stared directly at him. there was curiosity in his eyes, and something else.

they had been exchanging looks from that day.

 

he found out luhan was chinese, but spoke decent korean due to the constant contact with troops from the south. he was afraid of heights, but braver than anyone minseok had known. he fit the job of a soldier surprisingly well, considering his small build and sweet nature. and he was, in fact, capable of hurting when necessary.

minseok's first injury had come from a sparring match with luhan - the deep scar in his shoulder stayed for many weeks, a reminder of his opponent's fierceness in the sting that showed itself every time he showered. luhan apologized the instant their match ended, but not a second sooner.

as they watched the female soldiers train, jumping in gracious semi circles in front of the wall and falling for several feet before the ropes secured them back on top, minseok observed for the first time a glimpse of what he identified as fear in luhan’s eyes. he hid it well, but minseok was much too familiar with the feeling. it presented itself in the inconvenient shudder that made him grip his sword tighter every time he went out in the field to fight the dragon-like beasts. and these days, he was also much too familiar with luhan.

the boy slept in different chambers, where the chinese folk stayed, but they met every morning to practice and, later, for breakfast. it was a comfortable agreement they settled in.

maybe too comfortable for army.

the cultural gap was the source of many misunderstandings. sure, luhan knew korean fairly well, but there were always some differences reminiscent. maybe the way they held their chopsticks, or the prayers they would murmur before sleep. nothing that changed the way they acted around one another, but things that reiterated the fact that they grew up in widely different places. the certainty that they were fundamentally different, but not so distant after all.

one thing, however, was unmistakable to minseok, spelled in luhan's eyes clear as the sun (for he would never misjudge _that_ for anything else) - desire.

he was still unsure how to proceed about that.

he wondered if his eyes reflected his own hunger as clearly.

 

near the wall, on the side opposite from where the beasts came, there were endless fields of green. it was a vast immensity of wild, untouched nature. if one knew where to go, and had the determination to walk far enough, they would reach a garden of carnations, stretched as far as the eye could see. some were white, striped and red - but mostly, they were pink, soft as the first breath of spring.

minseok was not one to wander aimlessly, but the same could not be said about luhan. he had found the field of flowers in his first months as a training soldier, many years ago, and wished to share it ever since. however, he had never found anyone to share it with.

until today.

"how did you obtain the key for this gate, again?" minseok questioned in a whisper, half curiosity and half worry. they were not supposed to leave their chambers when the moon was so high in the sky, and not knowing their destination made him uneasy.

"after being here for so long, it is not surprising that i have made a few friends." he flashed a quick smile to minseok, walking faster still. "now, hush. we can talk after we are outside. it would not do to wake someone up."

soon they had left the wall behind and were headed for the wilderness. minseok gasped when he stepped outside the door - he had never seen the world under such bright moonlight, not even in his hometown. it was strong, and it was breathtakingly beautiful.

much like a boy he had come to know in this faraway land.

they walked side by side, hands fitting comfortably together. when they arrived, the carnations were their bed, and the moon their shining guide.

"how come such a lovely place is so close to a warzone?" minseok touched the flowers lightly, not wanting to hurt them, "the irony of the world will never cease to amaze me."

"it is odd, indeed. i guess it is a kind of escape for us. maybe it was known that we would need this sanctuary to be able to endure the cold reality of war."

minseok gazed at the boy laid down by his side. he often marveled at his unlikely fortune these days - to be sent to fight in a foreign country, and to find a boy that fit so perfectly in the curve of his spine. maybe he, too, received a blessing he did not deserve.

"say, luhan." to this day, saying his name felt like something he had received too easily. he had never proven himself worthy enough. "why did you become a soldier? what made you come here?"

"i wanted to be worth something. to find a purpose." he whispered softly into the night, "i wanted to make my country proud, and i knew that would never happen if i stayed in the comfort of my home."

"that is very brave of you." minseok's tone became bitter, "it's not that honorable for me, not at all. i simply did not want to be another mouth for them to feed back home. there were enough of us as it was."

"minseok, i did not know-"

"of course. i never told you." he ended the subject there, as that was not a night for heavy conversations. he wanted to feel as light as the stars that shone above the two of them. "but i admire you for having a choice, and still coming here. it is indeed very brave."

"others gave up on more. it was the least i could do."

he played with the luhan’s hair, their gazes hidden from each other because of the flowers. how it stayed so soft, despite using the cheap soap made from wild weed they were given to be washed, was a mystery to him. as were many things in the universe.

"no. you did not have to do anything. and yet, here you are."

"it is funny that you say it like that," luhan grinned to the ground, felling suddenly self-conscious, "when what i feel the most right now is that i am very much lucky."

minseok rose from his spot on the ground, choosing to sit on luhan's lap.

"yes." he stroked the soldier's jaw, tenderly, softly. "yes, i feel the same."

 

when the attack came, they were prepared.

the dragon-like monsters came in waves, one after the other. minseok had enough time to remember to put his helmet on before running to battle, slicing the beasts in the ground. on the top of the wall, the archers and the female warriors killed them skillfully, in an attempt to contain the massive amount of monsters.

at the time, it was a blur. minseok could have been fighting for 20 minutes or 20 hours; he would never be really sure of which had been the case. he sliced his sword through more necks than he could count; stabbed more hearts than he could ever forgive himself for. the one clear memory minseok had of the whole battle was looking briefly at the chinese ground forces, located on his far side, and recognizing a slim figure fighting with his comrades. at that moment, he prayed to all the gods he never believed in that they would both leave this hell alive.

he never thought they would listen.

that night, he slipped in luhan’s chambers. he did not care anymore who knew of them. all that mattered was a chinese and a korean boy, there, now.

 

life in the army was not nice. hours of practice, short and bland meals, stiff bodies competing with each other for hot water.

it was hard, and ugly. but sometimes it was beautiful. luhan had the ability of making even the most mundane things feel like otherworldly blessings. as if the gods were finally on their side, for the first time in their short lives.

it was simple, because it had to be. but, somehow, that did not make it less than anything.

 _it feels like us_ , minseok thought, as he held luhan closer to his body. the moon watched over them, guiding their path back to the wall later that night.

during the day, they kept their duties with unwavering will. it was not honorable to slack on training and disappoint your comrades. but during the night, they did not have to be soldier minseok and soldier luhan any longer. they could be minseok and luhan, two boys who loved each other more than words could begin to describe. two boys who, despite the unlikeliness of their knowing each other, had gotten to meet and fall in love time and time again.

every day was a battle, but every night felt like heaven.

_so this is what having a home feels like._

 

 

how was minseok supposed to forgive himself for letting luhan go?

when the foreign smugglers arrived, minseok had a foreboding. he felt everything would be over soon, one way or another. that the world as he knew would change, and there would be no path to return to.

it was a special mission.

_"they asked for me." luhan shifted from under minseok's body - they had long stopped pretending to sleep in separate beds. no soldiers seemed to care, for in war whatever kept you alive was worth doing. "it will probably be nothing. don't worry too much about it. i shall be back soon."_

_"i just dislike the idea of you going to somewhere i can't see." minseok sulked, "there is no way i can take care of you like that. make sure you remain safe."_

_"when have i ever needed to be taken care of, minseok?" he was right, as usual. luhan might have a delicate face, but he was built like a horse. he was all hard muscle and no soft skin - other than his cheeks. "i love when you become protective like that. i might feel like we have wed already."_

_"two men cannot marry, luhan. stop dreaming when you are supposed to be awake." minseok kicked luhan, trying to push him to the ground. if they stayed together too long, it was no good - he felt like he might just melt away._

how stupid he had been to conjure such a foolish thought.

luhan had kissed minseok softly, tenderly, before getting up and putting his uniform. that was no proper goodbye kiss. but then again, nothing was right about this whole affair. you were not supposed to send young boys to war. you are not to fall in love in the battlefield.

minseok had been prepared to die. he had not, however, been prepared to be left alone.

luhan had sacrificed himself, they said. of course. the bravest of boys would certainly die the bravest of deaths. minseok found himself wishing to be in luhan's place, but he soon admonished the thought. luhan would never accept such a thing. he was too kind, too selfless for that.

that did not comfort minseok. soon the war was over and he was able to return to his hometown with enough money to sustain his family for a while. he found a job as the apprentice of a blacksmith - it was hard work, but it would provide enough for them not to starve. it was a good way to occupy his mind, otherwise intruding thoughts would leave him crying and unable to move for days. his body was permanently sore during the days and cold in the nights.

sleeping was not much better. he did not know whether he preferred the long nights spent tossing and turning, without even a hint of slumber, or the nightmares that crowded his sleep. he believed the nightmares were better. if nothing else, at least he was able to hear that sweet voice once again.

just another soldier boy - that is what he was supposed to be.

and yet, he never really was just anything. luhan had always been much more. more than was expected, more than he had to be, more than minseok deserved.

' _at least you are safe_ ', the voice of his mother reverberated in minseok's head, ' _it was awful when you were gone. i worried about your life every single day_ '. but what good was being safe and alone?

how could they expect him to return home, when luhan was no longer on this earth? how did they dare to believe that he still had a home, when he had been ripped from his arms and sent for his demise?

minseok would find a way to keep going. eventually, he might even find a love to call his own again. but it could never be the all-encompassing kind, that which filled you soul and left you more yourself than you ever believed you could be. that was only luhan. that would only ever be luhan.

he would never stop mourning, that was for certain. and yet, if asked, he would choose to live it all again without a hint of hesitation. for the time they had together might have been short, but it was precious. it was true in a way that most stories were not. he would have to suffer all over again, yes. but he would also be able to fall in love with luhan once more, and that would be a priceless blessing.

 _thank you, luhan_. minseok kept a small shrine in the backyard of his family's house. it was a simple bush of carnations, beautifully pink when in bloom. it has minseok's humble homage to his deceased lover, whose body was buried far away, in a foreign land. _for loving me, and for letting me love you._


End file.
